Alone again ... unnaturally

another Sunday..

alone again unnaturally …

the words Roberta is singing draw a picture of you in my mind

I will never forget “the first time … ever I saw your face” ....

I knew ..YOU and I would be WE …

Celine interrupts my thoughts as she sings… “seduces me” ..

that you did .. first with words and then … your sweetest caress …

I have spent many Sundays ..

alone again unnaturally …

but often I content myself with thoughts of you as Luther croons..

“if this world were mine.”

he puts the words so well to describe how my feelings are for you …

he pleads gimme a little lovin’… you never have to plead …

I offer you .. Patti Labelle’s plea …

please comeback and “kiss away the pain”

the pain of your long absences ..

eased somewhat by your voice on the phone ..

darn that Nancy talking about the time is right …

“love won’t let me wait” .. well lucky her….

for me the time IS right .. right now… although I sit here..

alone again .. unnaturally

but because of you.. love will let me wait ….

things are bad enough .. still she continues to sing

“we will explode in ecstasy”

creating visions in my mind .. of our soaring explosions of ecstasy …too long ago

okay now she redeems herself reminding me

I’ll be there to “keep you satisfied”

but also that it’s hard to bear the mental strain …

of us having to be so discreet …

I should have listened to Marvin when he sang “it’s too late for you and I” years ago … but then if I worried about it being too late

I wouldn’t have had 5 years of YOU keeping ME satisfied ..

Sade said it best .. you have been my “ sweetest taboo”

©2005Joyce E Coley

Incident at the Olympics

I was watching track and field events on Oct 16, 1968 ..
It was the 1968 Olympics ..
I couldn’t tell you the name of the races but Tommie Smith had just won the gold and John Carlos .. the bronze..
When I saw the raised black fisted hand it never occurred to me it was about protest .. I was not current event savvy ..
I figured it was their way of celebrating their victories ..
The controversy .. like most controversies .. was blown out of proportion, as only the media can..
purporting the athletes to be racists, militants and the typical titles given to Black’s, for any outward signs of unity, during this time.

Thirty seven years later .. the truth of the “incident” is finally being made public and puts a whole new light on the “infamous” picture of Tommie Smith and John Carlos ..


standing shoeless in black socks ..
one black gloved hand raised …
little, if any, was mentioned about the fact that ..
Tommie had an olive sapling under his other arm ..
John had a string of black beads around his neck ..
all that was swept away in the surge of the controversy

This time when we look at that “infamous” picture .. we will be mindful of the original meaning … and those of us who were not aware then ... .will know the significance of ..

the shoeless feet in black socks ….. indicating Black poverty
the black beads …….. signifying the lynching’s of Black men
the olive sapling …. as a gesture of peace
the raised fists ……. to unity in the Black struggle

although there will not be as much publicity of the truth as there was the controversy.. a 23ft, bronze statue will be erected Oct 16,2005.. at San Jose State as a result of the efforts of a student organization to commemorate the 37th anniversary of the “incident” and the truth of what it really represented ..

Nikki Giovanni once said ”truth is on the way” .. she was right ..
it just takes our truths longer to get here ..
© 2005 Joyce E Coley

Sheila ..

 I don't know what I'd have done without Sheila..

 more often than not she allowed me to pour out my heart 

 while she silently accepted every word 

 took them all in .. even redundant ones

  she bore witness to love letters ..
 fantasies  and hopeless chatter 

 heartbreaks and triumphs 

  and other things that matter  

 she was saddened by turmoil.. on page after page 

 I wrote to her often

 thankful for her comfort
 in my distress..

  and my rage ..

 it's about time for me  to start going places..

 doing things ..

 see some new faces

 but.. then I'll neglect her 

 when I'm flying high

 yet she is still there .. right by my side

 patient .. open .. taking my woes and joys in stride

there to support me ..

 reminding me just what "fun" used to be

 recalling funny things that I forgot

 serious things I did

 .. and things I did not ..

 with all that I saddled her with .

 you would think she'd be weary

 no .. not .. Sheila 

  she's my friend..

  she's my diary ..


 if she was "real"
I'd give her this to keep her warm ...

Style and Grace

It was hard to say

what you noticed right away

long fingernails .. the make-up or ..

her stylish running suit

but you could tell her from a distance

as she ran around the track

usually leading the entire pack

with the speed of a gazelle ..

she set the pace ..

more often than not ..

winning race after race ..

doing it all with "style and "grace"

Who was she ? .. need I say? ..

 Flo Jo was her name .. gone but not forgotten ..
© 2005 Joyce E Coley
I would give her this quilt ..
if I could

Doodlin'

I called this one "HATS ON A PILE".

It has nothing to do with the story below.

Just another doodle..

The Squirrel’s Dilemma


I was still sitting at my kitchen sink having just finished my breakfast, leisurely drinking my second cup of coffee and looking out of the window when I spied him racing across the lawn, hell bent for the nearest escape route, a huge tree in front of the building.

He started running up the side of the tree when suddenly, he stopped and peeped around it.

He twittered and darted and stopped and stood and twittered some more, his tail swishing constantly.

To witness his excited movements I would have thought he’d found a bushel of acorns all in one place.
That’s when I saw the trash truck ambling up the street which probably accounted for his nervous behavior even after he reached safety.

Suddenly he looked away from the truck, distracted by the activities near the planter just outside my window.


That planter that was his storehouse.

A man was cleaning out some of the overgrown ivy and debris that had blown in it.
Swishing his tail frantically, he craned forward then flitted back and forth around the trunk, pausing to decide whether or not he should start to panic.
It was such a helpless feeling watching the removed ivy pile up, not knowing how close the man was to his winter supply of acorns.


Even from his lofty perch he couldn’t see how much of his storehouse was left intact.

Back and forth, back and forth, he ran.
And the ivy pile got higher and higher.

Longtime Companion

At 4:30 am, I was lying there wide awake when I thought about you..

I don't know why you popped into my mind..

I certainly had no desire for you .. anymore ..

I can't believe that fifteen years have passed since I said goodbye

I don't even remember how or who introduced us ..

I do remember .. that off and on for 32 years you were a very

comforting companion to me..

We had a few rough times, but..

I couldn't begin to count how many good times we had over coffee..

listening to music .. or having a drink ..

Remember when we could go almost anywhere in public ..

without ridicule?

You often left me breathless .. but I enjoyed having you around ..

I never dreamed that near the end of this relationship ..

you would become physically abusive ..

THAT left a NASTY taste in my mouth..

Still I stayed with you another 6 months or so .. then

I finally decided one day in January 1990 ... I had enough..

you had to go .. so

I said goodbye to you

miss Virginia Slims .. AND

your friends ..

 Kools .. Salem ..and Newport

I haven't regretted it .. neither have my lungs .. 

© 2005 Joyce E Coley

 

Now this quilt was created in a smoke-free environment.

Life .. like a quilt

 My life is like a quilt

formed from blocks of calm ..

blocks of anxieties.. 

light .. medium .. dark contrasts

measured and squared blocks
of have-to's and want-to's
whimsical blocks of joy and pain

 pieced together with shades of living...

the colors of life..

with threads of experience holding them together.

The fabric in these "blocks" .. brightens their surroundings ..

the colors and prints harmonize.. lying in wait ..

to be partnered randomly ..

in a patchwork of life ..

a welcome comfort ..

bound together with family and friends.

©2005Joyce E Coley